You've no doubt heard of the phases of grief, but did you know that there are also phases that people go through when they encounter major life transitions? It doesn't seem to matter what the life transition is - we each go through the same stages that led us to wholeness once again. We can trust in this process so that even when we feel adrift, we know that things will indeed get better again.
Loss - The loss of something important to us is typically what creates a transition in our lives. It's normal and natural to feel loss and to grieve over what you no longer have. Allow yourself to feel the sadness that comes with loss. It is part of the healing process.
Uncertainty - Once the overwhelming sense of sadness has passed, we move into uncertainty. What will our lives be like now? What can possibly fill the void that the loss has left in our lives? How should we move forward? Most of life is uncertain and allowing yourself to experience uncertainty, while not enjoyable, is an important part of the process that eventually leads us to the answers we seek.
Discomfort - In the midst of uncertainty, we encounter discomfort. Humans like to know what's going to happen next. We feel unsettled and insecure when we don't know what to do next or where to turn. It's a normal part of the transitioning process that ensures we don't stay in a self-defeating stage indefinitely.
Insight - Finally, we start to feel the sun break through the clouds. Perhaps we come to some realization that what we've lost can be replaced with something better. That now that we have gotten through the worst of it, we can make new choices that can lead us to a happier life than the one we had before.
Understanding - What started as a glimmer of hope now becomes a full-fledged understanding of how our lives can change for the better. We start to make plans and goals that will get us to the new life awaiting us. We may even start to understand why the loss we suffered could end up being one of the best things that could have possibly happened.
Integration - In the final stage, we begin to integrate the ideas and plans we've made into our lives. We start to really feel alive and excited about the new adventures in store for us. We begin to take the action steps that will get us to where we now know we want to go.
You may have heard each of these more than once before, but they have a whole new meaning when you are going through a major life transition and it feels like everything's falling apart.
You aren't alone - Everyone goes through challenging times, they just don't tend to advertise it. You can rest assured that your friends and family understand your feelings and will be willing to help you in any way they can.
It's okay to cut yourself some slack - There's no doubt that you will need time to experience all of the feelings that come about with a major life change. Give yourself a break from all the unimportant or non-urgent things that tend to fill up life. Just take it easy and heal your heart.
All things are impermanent - It feels like this confusion and pain will last forever, that you'll never be happy again, but that isn't true. Everything in life changes. Nothing is permanent. You can trust that this transition is just that - a change that will eventually settle into a new opportunity.
Life is change - Just like nature, life is nothing if not change. The winter gives way to spring. The flowers bloom and then hibernate. The moon wanes and waxes. Life will always have ups and downs that we can't always see coming. Watch Episode 18 of Thrive in Life.
Reframe - Your life may look grim, but if you want to find goodness and beauty in your life, you can. You may not have the same life you had two weeks ago, but you have friends who love you. You can appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Every life has wondrous things in it, we just have to notice them. In the video I share my story of being in the hospital after my surgery and the a-ha moment I had. You'll find it at time-stamp 9:20.
Say no to negativity - While you surely have friends and family who are loving and supportive, it's also possible that there are a few negative Nelly's in your environment also. Especially now, it's a good idea to say no to their invitations to hang out. When you feel stronger, you can decide if they are someone you want to continue to have a relationship with. But for now, just say no - as nicely as you can.
Shanti Wellness Centre Inc.
Phone: 780-352-0945
Direct/Text/WhatsApp: 780-918-9225
Email: office@zaheennanji.com
Skype: zaheennanji
Facebook Messenger: https://m.me/zaheenresilience
Zaheen Nanji is a Resilience Champion and trains people and organizations on how to build their resilience muscle so it becomes a first reflex in times of change and challenge.
You were very easy to deal with. Pleasant manner, tone of voice and easy to speak to. You kind of have the voice and demeanor that make people "want" to talk with you. Once people know your story, they want to talk to you more, perhaps to grab a bit of your strength and positive attitude in their own lives. I find you to have a caring way about you. Concerned for others and how you can help them be better at being them.
You were very easy to deal with. Pleasant manner, tone of voice and easy to speak to. You kind of have the voice and demeanor that make people "want" to talk with you. Once people know your story, they want to talk to you more, perhaps to grab a bit of your strength and positive attitude in their own lives. I find you to have a caring way about you. Concerned for others and how you can help them be better at being them.
Shanti Wellness Centre Inc.
Phone: 780-352-0945
Direct/Text/WhatsApp: 780-918-9225
Email: office@zaheennanji.com
Skype: zaheennanji
Facebook Messenger: https://m.me/zaheenresilience
Zaheen Nanji is a Resilience Champion and trains people and organizations on how to build their resilience muscle so it becomes a first reflex in times of change and challenge.